How To Stay Healthy
The first month of 2017 has officially come and gone, and I think it’s about time we checked in on those new year’s resolutions we made a few weeks ago. Like many people, one of my resolutions was to eat better and stay fitter. So far things have been going pretty well, so I thought I’d share my tips for how to stay healthy this year.
1. Buy nothing but salads and quinoa at the grocery store. Wake up in the middle of the night starving, walk to the corner store, and eat an entire bag of chips on the walk home. Keep a secret stash of gummy bears in your nightstand and eat them in the dark. If no one sees you eating, the calories don’t count.
2. Try new workout videos you found on Youtube without checking the difficulty level. Forget to stretch afterwards. Hobble around crippled for the next three days. If you can’t walk properly, people will know you’re really dedicated to fitness!
3. Forget to wash your one-and-only sports bra. Skip the gym that day on the excuse that you have nothing to wear.
4. Do 15 minutes of restorative yoga in which you spend 80% of the time on the floor, lying down and breathing. Call it a workout.
5. Think about going to the gym. Thinking burns calories.
In all seriousness, my new healthy routine has been going reasonably well, but it also hasn’t been without a few ups and downs. I’ve succeeded in going to the gym 3x per week, every week since the start of the new year, but I’ve also eaten an entire pack of gummy bears in one sitting while watching reruns of Say Yes To the Dress.
You win some, you lose some.
How are your resolutions going so far?