9:00AM: Wake up. Grab phone immediately.
9:02AM: Check blog stats. Get disappointed that your almost non-existent Australian fan-base hasn't significantly increased your pageviews while you were sleeping.
9:05AM: Open Instagram. See who liked your photos. Stalk their profiles.
9:08AM: Open Twitter.
9:09AM: Get bored of Twitter.
9:10AM: Watch boyfriend sleep. Wish you were still sleeping. Wonder how much longer you can put off getting out of bed.
10:00AM: Get out of bed. Shower etc.
10:45AM: Publish today's blog post.
10:46AM: Indulge in daily self-consciousness, doubt, and insecurity about your writing ability.
11:00AM: Promote the sh*t out of your post across five or six different types of social media despite the fact that you don't know anything about social media or understand how algorithms work.
11:30AM: Visit other bloggers and comment on their pages. Try to be funny, interesting, and all-around perfect.
12:00AM: Remember to eat breakfast
12:15PM: Decide to give blogging a rest and focus on school/writing your book/doing laundry etc.
12:45PM: Check blog stats.
12:46PM: Get disappointed by shockingly tiny number of pageviews despite having written what you thought was the Best Post Ever.
12:47PM: Promise self not to check stats again until right before bedtime.
12:52PM: Check blog stats again.
1:00PM-6:00PM: Actually accomplish other tasks.
6:00PM: Check social media stats.
6:01PM: Check blog stats.
6:02PM: Contemplate giving up blogging to become an old-fashion reclusive writer with no online presence.
6:03PM: Cocktail Hour!
7:03PM: Cocktail Hour Again!
9:00PM: Check blog stats one last time.
9:01PM: Be pleasantly surprised!
9:02PM: Remember that you don't have a normal-person job, and realize that you wouldn't want it any other way!