15 Questions I Have At the Airport

Sometimes getting home is its own adventure...

1. Why is there a Starbucks next to a Body Shop, next to another Starbucks?

2. Why don't they have Tim Hortons; how is the Americanization of my favourite Canadian staple helping me in any way?

3. Why is there a Body Shop between the two Starbuckses and another Body Shop less than 100 yards away?

4. Is there some type of Body Shop-Starbucks monopoly on commerce in Mexico City?

image via getty

image via getty

5. Why are the only power outlets that work the ones branded with the Samsung logo?

6. Why does the body-scan machine hate all my sweaters?

7. Why don't they check the plane for mechanical issues before boarding all the passengers?

8. What type of room service should I order when I miss my connecting flight? Champagne and sirloin? Thank you, Delta Airlines!

9. Why does the United States make you go through customs if you're just transferring from one plane to another? I don't even want to be in the United States. A direct flight from Mexico to Toronto would have been just fine.

10. Why am I the only person running through this airport at 1am?

11. Have I lost all concept of what is normal?

12. If they're stalling the plane's departure by an extra half-hour for us, why don't they send the little golf carts to pick us up instead of making an 8 year-old and a 70 year-old run through one of the country's biggest airports in the middle of the night?

13. Why would a flight attendant joke about sending the little golf cart to help the exhausted 8 year old child and then not actually send it?

14. Can I justify spending $8 US for half a glass of mediocre airplane wine?

15. Are we there yet?